Children and Loss

I watched a wonderful program a few days ago on grieving. The program, hosted by Katie Couric, is titled, Sesame Street: When Families Grieve. I was impressed with the sincerity and delicate manner in which they produced the program.

Couric experienced the loss of her husband when her children were quite young. At the time she noticed how few resources were available for children dealing with the loss of a loved one. This propelled her some years later to work in unison with Sesame Street to provide this touching and informative series.

If you know a grieving child, encourage their parent or guardian to access this series. I believe this is a powerful tool designed to aid children who are experiencing the loss of a loved one, as well as the parents or guardians responsible for them.

I have provided a link for you to check out Sesame Street: When Families Grieve.

Ashes to Beauty

Tonight I am reminded of a promise from God found in the book of Isaiah:

To comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. ― Isaiah 61:2-3

Your grief may be a consuming fire right now, leaving a charred trail of tears. But I have good news for you. Your tears will one day be replaced with laughter. Time does heal and the pain will diminish. The hollowness sorrow carves into your being will one day be filled with joy. One day you will lay aside your robe of grief and replace it with a garment of praise. 

God promises to be with us in sorrow. He is our comforter. I encourage you to place this scripture deep within your heart and hold on to its promise. Rest assured that in time your ashes will be replaced with beauty. 

A NEW IDENTITY

My husband died when I was forty-one years old. We had been married for almost nine years. In all honesty, I had built my life completely around Todd. I thought we would grow quite old together, and it never occurred to me that I might face my forties alone. Being on my own again brought a loss of direction, and a resulting sense of panic. In a moment, I went from being Todd’s wife to Todd’s widow. My life became so empty yet full of pain without him.

Mainly to distract myself, I threw my energies into a degree program and have been fully immerged in this college degree for the last three years. As I rapidly approach completion and graduation, I am forced to face the profound question that I eluded until the present, “Who am I?”

As I face another major life change, I can no longer avoid the issues of identity. At first I felt scared witless at the prospect of determining the answer to this challenging question. But with deep prayer I have come to embrace this time of uncertainty and transition with great anticipation and expectancy.

The passing of grief truly opens the door for positive expectation about what the future may hold. As you stumble through the early stages of grief, do not pressure yourself to answer the big question of identity. This season is not an appropriate time to make major moves or change jobs. Go at your own pace. Remember the grieving process is as unique as the person who is grieving. Acquaint yourself with who you are right now. Assess your life and take inventory of all your blessings, large and small. Allow others to comfort and support you.

Most importantly, be honest and unafraid to express your fear of the future. I recommend keeping a journal, which will help you gage your progress as you travel your grief journey. When you finally arrive on the other side of your grief, perhaps you will discover a new and better you for having experienced and survived your loss. 

Winter

I love this time of year. As I breathe in the cool air my lungs expand with its invigorating crispness, and my heart swells with delight at the sight of the sun twinkling through beautiful golden leaves, stirring within me a deep compelling need to praise God. Not long ago though, I was unable to see the beauty of the season or lift my heart up in praise to the One who created it. Not only was the season cold and dreary when Todd died, but my heart mimicked the season’s gloom with his passing. Snow covered the ground and rarely did the sun peak its face out from behind a blanket of gray clouds. The heaviness of my heart kept its sluggish beat with the bleakness of that first winter.

Fortunately, as another winter season rapidly approaches, I have noticed a significant change in myself. With a joyous heart I declare to you that I have put those days behind me. I am able to say with confidence that I have moved on, and I no longer carry my burden of grief. Now, when I look out at the barren trees and the gray sky, my heart lifts its song of thanksgiving to the faithful One who loved me through the darkest season of my life.

You may be wondering if you will ever lay your burden of grief down. I want to encourage you that yes, you will! If you are God’s child, you can rest assured that your time will come. Perhaps, it will be a gradual awakening, or maybe you will wake one morning and know in your heart that Joy has kissed Sorrow upon the cheek goodbye. Know this, when Joy at last arrives, you will have more room to embrace her than you had before, and her presence will fill the deep void Sorrow carved within your heart.

So, go ahead, rejoice right now in the assurance that your day will come.

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. ­— Psalm 30:5, KJV